Posts Tagged ‘names’


Did you know that there are a ridiculous number of stupid names out there? I mean, really. Really. Really weird stupid names that you just have to think, what the hell were their parents on. Honestly.

If I trawl through one more freaking page of ‘Unusual Names’ (especially the ones that involve ‘cute and ‘special’ and ‘baby’ and ‘gorgeous’ in the title) I will start screaming. And I may not stop.

I spent last night reeling off every name I could think of from Samuel and Benjamin to Jaewon and Lemuel. And that grinning imbecile just stood there, saying “Guess again, Artie” and cackling. Really, I think it would be rather fitting if Lloyd HAD changed his name to Forsythia, or Kismet. Something in the region of Quintessence or Squarren would suit his ridiculous demeanour and general all-round preposterousness. If not, dear readers, for the fact that his name is already Lloyd. Lloyd. I mean for Christ’s sake, who would choose to go for a weirder name than Lloyd? Think about it.

Oh, and by the way? This woman and also this other person have ‘Arthur’ on their lists. Seriously? My name’s that weird? I’ll forgive the latter site solely on the basis of their explanation: “Who wouldn’t want to have the name of one of the most famous and legendary kings of all time?”

Hell yes. Only worthwhile thing I came across in this whole stupid session of Internet trawling. Oh, aside from this article, which temporarily retrieved my sanity from the brink of the chaotic abyss on which it was teetering.

This is his plan, isn’t it? To literally drive me insane until I spontaneously combust, and he’ll just stand there, laughing, and mixing the ashes into a scotch and coke and serving it up to a desperate, suicidal seven year old orphan holding a gun.

I’ve got to stop drinking so much coffee.


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